


The Watch...

by Pitt1982



Category: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden - Fandom, Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-17 05:34:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16089110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pitt1982/pseuds/Pitt1982





	The Watch...

Wishing not to wake Robert, Aaron gingerly slipped out from under the spot he had nestled into as they laid on the couch. The soft smile that crossed his lips earlier had returned as he quietly made his way up to their bedroom. “I wonder…would it still be there? Is it still there?” the thought again repeating…echoing. He had placed it somewhere it would be safe, away from everyone…even Robert. Never having intended to hold on to it, something in him kept it close…very close. Moving from the stairs across the wood floor Aaron looked down at Robert, quite and content. The day had taken so much out of them…now all he wanted to do was to be with Robert…today…tomorrow…every day from now on. Together as one. Aaron had placed it somewhere only he knew…somewhere that meant as much to him as Robert had always. As he made his way over to the closet, his hiding place a surge of emotion came rushing to him. He had not seen the bag in some time…unable to cope with the memories it brought back…the memories of being ripped away from the man he loved. He placed it here…somewhere Robert would never look…somewhere he couldn’t look, the pain too much for both to bear. But now something was different, the black leather bag was their FUTURE not their past. As he removed the bag from the closet, sitting on the edge of the bed…he thought about all this represented and again the soft smile crossed his lips. 

Never had Aaron intended to keep it…to hold it close. Maybe his heart…maybe his head…maybe both had stopped him. As his fingers felt its smooth surface, the feeling of that moment came rushing…but not the feeling he expected. Often he wondered how different that moment would have been had he listened…really listened to Robert. Though he never spoke of it, Aaron wracked himself with guilt for his part…his role in the moment that should have been his happiest and instead almost cost him everything. The memories still raw, even after time passed of that day…that moment. He remembered what if felt when the cool metal hit his skin…everything seemed to fade…nothing mattered. Not the room, not the machines monitoring his every move, his every breath. It was a feeling he longed for…again…this time forever…for eternity. 

As the cool metal once again brushed against his skin, he longed for Robert to be the one. Removing it from the black box it called home, Aaron slipped it into his palm and headed back to Robert. For months he had stared at the mark it left…the outline of what was…and what he hoped to be again. Battling his heart…his head, Aaron could not let it go. What “It” was he could never articulate…it was a feeling…a feeling he had with no one else. “If this is love…what it feels like to be loved…I would wait for him…forever”. He had wanted to ask the question, for some time now…but it never felt right…the moment never fit. The question almost slipped on Valentine’s Day but he caught himself…scared…unsure…maybe both. “The moment has to be right…it has to be. Robert waited…longer than I would have. It needs to be perfect”. Settling back into his embrace with Robert, everything seemed to fade…it was just them…as it was always meant. Gazing at his palm, Aaron knew…this was it…this was perfect…

Thinking about the moment…this moment, Aaron did not feel Robert shift beneath him. “What have you got there?” the words catching him off-guard. “Nothing…it’s nothing. Go back to sleep”, the words stumbling from Aaron’s lips as he quickly wrapped his palm around the item. He wanted nothing more in that moment then to place it on Robert…for him to feel its cool metal once again. But was it right? Was this the moment…the place? Turning to place it behind the pillow on which he had been leaning, Aaron felt a tug at his waist. “Aaron…tell me. What is it? What’s wrong?” “Nothing…nothing is wrong. For the first time in my life everything is right You…me…our house…our family”. It had all seemed unlikely…impossible those years ago when their paths crossed. Yet, here they were…here he was, in love…with someone who made him a better person. Only one thing was missing. The one thing he had always wanted for himself but never dared to speak. “Robert…I…I haven’t been completely honest with you…I need you to know”. “When you left…when I left, I wanted to rid this house of every memory…everything that reminded me of you…of us.” As the words fell from Aaron’s quivering chin, a tear passed over his cheek. “I tried…I tried and I couldn’t. Much as I wanted to rid myself of you, I just couldn’t. It wasn’t until I saw this that I knew I wasn’t through with you…with us.”   
Reaching, he removed it from behind the pillow where he had placed it earlier. “I…I just couldn’t do it. It’s as much a part of me now…as it was of you then. I wore it every day…hoping I could place back where it belonged.” Aaron wore the leather band and metal face every day since they parted…it was a part of him…as Robert had always been. 

“You…You kept it. After all I did? After everything we’ve been through”, Robert’s face belying the words falling from his lips. “I…I tried. Much as I wanted to hate you, I couldn’t…I can’t”, Aaron’s eyes welled with tears. “It may not make sense, but it’s a part of me…of us.” What he couldn’t tell Robert…what he feared telling him was how the band found a place…found a home. Every day since they parted he wore it…hiding under his sleeves…under his coat, but always close. He needed to feel it…needed to remember. “Why…why didn’t you tell me?”, Robert’s tone softened as he spoke. It was THE tone…the one he only used with Aaron. “I couldn’t…I was afraid you would hate me for keeping it. Not telling you I had kept it.” As the words fell from Aaron’s lips, Robert saw in his eyes…those eyes, the vulnerable, scared Aaron he fell in love with all those years ago. “Aaron…I could never…I would never hate you. I…I had hoped if anyone had it, you would”, and with those words, the small, soft smile returned to Aaron…


End file.
